Why She Stayed
A podcast where we dive deep into what really goes on inside of domestic violence relationships that makes it so hard to simply "just leave". Through stories of survivors, and practical conversations with guests, I am going to put the microscope back on what the abuser is doing that causes us to become so trapped in the first place, and how each survivor was eventually freed. We will discuss what abusive relationships look like, sound like, and feel like for the purpose of educating and relating to one another in a much needed way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com...
Episodes
Ep. 66: You Won't Get Closure From The Same Person Who Hurt you | Laura Richards
On this episode, I am joined by podcast host and abuse recovery coach Laura Richards. Laura is the host of That's Where I'm At Podcast and we dive deep into both the addictive nature of the cycle of abuse and her personal story. We speak ab…
Ep. 65: "The Way He Operated Was So Subtle"
Nicolette shares about the emotional, psychological, and sexual abuse she faced in her marriage and how minimizing, denying, and blaming made it so hard to see through the fog. We discuss how abusers will often seem very forthcoming and hon…
Ep. 64: "He's Not Going to Change"- Erin's Story
Erin shares her abuse story of enduring physical, emotional, verbal & financial abuse. She describes how her abuser blamed the mistreatment on "stressors" and kept her in a cycle of hoping it was always just about to get better. Erin's Inst…
Ep. 63: "Purposeful, Determined, & Unwavering"- Sarah's Story
Sarah shares her story of the many years of abuse she endured throughout her marriage and how spiritual and emotional abuse played a big role in keeping her trapped. She also shares how she navigated with 3 children including one special ne…
Ep. 62: He Knew Which Lines Not To Cross
Christa shares her story of experiencing high forms of covert abuse and how that led to a complete mental breakdown and loss of self. We dive into many examples of manipulation and how she eventually saw through the fog, overcame the confus…
Ep. 61: Weaponization Of Mental Health, Triangulation, & Charisma
On this episode, Jess shares her story about how abusers can weaponize mental health claims as an excuse to accuse you and gain control in very covert ways. We also discuss how perpetrators who are very charismatic triangulate people around…
Ep. 60: How Abusers Control The Narrative | with Quinn Padilla
On this episode, I am joined by trauma therapist and abuse recovery coach- Quinn Padilla. We discuss topics such as what is a "one-off" mistake vs. a pattern, intent vs. action, and how an abuser will attempt to control the narrative. Get i…
Ep. 59: Discussing the Diddy Trial- with Dr. Nadine Macaluso
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Ep. 58: "The Trauma Bond Was Like Quicksand"
On this episode, Tanya shares her domestic violence survivor story and what the aftermath looked like of finally staying gone. We discuss topics such as the strength of a trauma bond, how abuse causes someone to lose themselves over time, e…
Ep. 57 Reasons We Stay & Helping a Loved One | Bethany Comerford
On this episode, I am joined by life coach Bethany Comerford as we discuss red flags in manipulation, why survivors often stay for so long, ways to practically help a loved one, and how grief plays a role even when this person has abused yo…
Ep. 56: Love Bombing, Illusion of Stability, & Devaluation | Lindsay Abernathy
Today I am joined by Lindsay Abernathy host of Bitch Is A Bad Word podcast as she shares her personal story of surviving domestic abuse. We discuss topics of love bombing, future faking, how control escalates over time financially, emotiona…
Ep. 55: Lundy Bancroft Interview | Why Does He Do That?
I am honored to have Lundy Bancroft on the show with me to talk about some of the most commonly asked questions surrounding domestic abuse and the mind of the abuser. Lundy Bancroft is the author of the book "Why Does He Do That? Inside the…
Ep. 54: Red Flags, Trusting Yourself, & Dating Post- Abuse | with Ashley Maland
On this episode, guest Ashley Maland and I discuss topics such as red flags, why you feel like you cannot leave, abuser's who frequently discard, healing your strong attachments to them, how to trust yourself again, and dating struggles pos…
Ep. 53: Weaponizing Therapy, DARVO, & Coercion
On this episode, Martha shares her story of enduring an abusive relationship that included many layers of mind games, emotional abuse, triangulation, and coercion. We discuss how abuser's attempt to reverse victim and offender at every turn…
Ep. 52: My Story Updated- One Year of Podcasting
On this episode, I am re-sharing my story to capture within one episode to discuss topics and themes that may help you recall things from your own experience or make new connections. Thank you to this incredible community and I look forward…
Ep. 51: Hot & Cold Behaviors and Infidelity
Morgan shares her story of the constant mix of hot and cold behaviors of her abuser and how she did not know it was abuse for so long. We talk about the infidelity that took place and how victims are gaslit into not trusting the information…
Ep. 50: A Conversation About the Family Court System | Courtney Gilmartin
On this episode, I am joined by Courtney Gilmartin who is a legal strategist and protective mom advocating for change in New Jersey & the family court system. We have a general discussion about entering the court system as a mother and prov…
Ep. 49: Unpacking Control, Possessiveness, & Stalking
On this episode, Mandy shares her survivor story about how she met her abuser at a young age and was quickly swept into a relationship where possessiveness, monitoring, and the pressure to be "perfect" were constant. We will discuss what ma…
Ep. 48: "He Pretended to do a Total 180" | How She Finally Broke Free
On this episode, Rose shares her survivor story of navigating an abusive relationship with emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual coercion, escalating physical crossing of boundaries, and leaving with children. She shares how her abuser w…
Ep. 47: Understanding Coercive Control and Manipulative Behaviors | Dr. Emma Katz
On this episode I am joined by coercive control expert Dr. Emma Katz to break down some of your most commonly asked questions. Dr. Katz is a UK- based domestic violence & coercive control researcher and a Substack Bestseller. During this ep…
Ep. 46: Trusting Your Gut Instinct- with Laura Richards
On this episode, I am joined by Criminal Behavior Analyst, Laura Richards. Laura is an expert on domestic abuse, coercive control, stalking, sexual violence homicide and risk assessment. She trained at New Scotland Yard and the FBI Behavior…
Ep. 45: Emotional Abuse Can Feel like Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts - with Leah Aguirre
On this episode, I am joined by licensed therapist and author Leah Aguirre where we have an open conversation about "hidden" forms of abuse such as frequent criticism, belittling, and making you feel like nothing is ever good enough. We als…
Ep. 44: "I Was An Advocate For Victims, But I Didn't Realize I Was One Too"
On this episode, Naomi shares about the cognitive dissonance she experienced when she was working as a victim crime advocate not realizing that she herself was experiencing coercive control, abuse within her own marriage. We talk about her …
Ep. 43: Confusion Is The Hallmark Of Abuse
On this Episode, Liadan shares her abuse story and how confusion played a huge role in struggling to break free. We talk about continuous discarding as a form of abuse, triangulation, and how efficiently the abuser will turn the blame back …
Ep. 42: "It Felt Like Whiplash"
Nicole shares her abuse story of a 10+ year relationship/ marriage that included emotional, mental, financial, and escalating physical abuse. We discuss how the constant ups and downs felt like "whiplash" and how she ultimately left while h…
Ep. 41: Coercive Control- Dr. Christine Cocchiola
On this episode I am joined by coercive control expert Dr. Christine Cocchiola. We discuss examples of how abuse can feel both hidden & obvious, how the perpetrator frames you as the "bad" one, & the dynamic when children are involved. Dr. …
Ep. 40: "It Felt Like My Brain Was No Longer Mine"
Sasha shares her story of how she found herself in an intense cycle of abuse with a man who claimed to be "trauma informed" and emotionally mature, but was actually abusing and causing massive confusion behind closed doors. We talk about fe…
Ep. 39 Psychological Abuse, Isolation, & Leaving with a Child
On this episode, my guest Cory shares her abuse story about how she survived a cycle of fast love bombing, being hurt by the same person who "rescues you", how your body will start to reject them, and how she found the strength to leave wit…
Ep 38: Can Coercive Control be Accidental? Do I Owe Him One Last Talk?- Full Q&A
During this episode, I will be answering your most commonly asked questions about abuse and healing. We discuss questions such as:Can abuse be unintentional? Do I owe my abuser one last conversation?Best way to deal with the silent treatmen…
Ep. 37: When He's on a Pedestal & Puts You in Lose-Lose Situations
On this episode, Megan shares her abuse story of how isolation & accusations were slowly introduced, how abusers will put you in lose-lose situations, how it feels like we always need more "proof" to leave them, and how she eventually left …
Ep. 36: Non-Fatal Strangulation: How it's Introduced and Escalates- Dr. Dana Anderson
On this episode I am joined by forensic psychologist Dr. Dana Anderson where we discuss the dangers of non-fatal strangulation, what it is, what "counts", why it matters, and answering your most commonly asked questions. Dr. Anderson's web…
Ep. 35: Will Trying to be Perfect Make Them Change?
On this episode I am joined by my guest Amanda where we discuss topics of emotional abuse, coercive control, sexual coercion and more. We also discuss how abusers use things like withdrawing or demanding intimacy as a way to control you and…
Ep. 34: Cognitive Dissonance, Euphoric Recall, and What if He's Changing?
On today's episode, Cindy and I discuss the progression of abuse in her past relationship/ marriage and how strong cognitive dissonance can be when you are dealing with "two versions" of your partner. We also talk about their claims of chan…
Ep. 33: DV Survivor & Mass Shooting Survivor- Elle Gargano
On this episode, I am joined by Elle Gargano speaking about enduring a 9 year abusive relationship and all of the aspects that kept her feeling stuck including surviving a mass shooting during the time when she was still with her abuser. We…
Ep. 32: Coercion, Reactive Abuse, and what if it's me "causing" this?
Morgan shares her story of escaping a relationship that included extreme phases of "love" and devaluing. We discuss topics of coercion, reactive abuse, lying to escape his accusations, the addictiveness of the cycle, and overcoming self-bla…
Ep. 31: Am I "Supposed" to Stay in an Abusive Situation?- Karen DeArmond Gardner
On this episode I'm joined by Karen DeArmond Gardner where we talk about covert, emotional, mental, and spiritual abuse. She gives new perspectives on how to handle the intrusive thoughts and lies that tell us "but am I supposed to stay?"Al…
Ep. 30: "No one will ever believe you because you look too happy"- Savannah's Story
On this episode, Savannah shares her story about mental, verbal, and physical abuse and why it felt so hard to leave. We talk about how "smaller" physical trespasses escalate over time and how the perpetrator may pretend they are not even h…
Ep. 29: How to Help Someone Who's in an Abusive Relationship by Holding Space for Them
On this solo episode, I give all of my best tips for bridging the gap with a loved one who may be stuck in an abusive relationship. I give advice on what could be most helpful VS. harmful and how to stay hopeful in the midst of it all.Remem…
How Abusers Weaponize Mental Health and Triangulation
On this episode, Jess shares her story about how abusers can weaponize mental health claims as an excuse to accuse you and gain control in very covert ways. We also discuss how perpetrators who are very charismatic triangulate people around…
How to Look Through the Lens of the Cycle of Abuse- Knowing Your Truth with Quinn Padilla
On this episode I'm joined by my guest Quinn Padilla where we talk about how to gain clarity by focusing on what the *cycle* of abuse really looks like and new perspectives to help you identify patterns and stay strong. We also discuss Quin…