lovelustfear | heather | i did not want to lose this man

After escaping a series of turbulent relationships, Heather finds hope in a charismatic and attractive bodybuilder. However, she soon becomes ensnared in a web of drug addiction, sex, pornography, and psychological manipulation. The relentless abuse drives her to multiple suicide attempts, leaving Heather's life hanging in the balance. chapters (00:00) listen with caution (00:24) next on lovelustfear (02:23) about heather (03:18) heather’s story (01:13:08) questions & answers (01:18:37) closing thoughts (01:19:39) charity & organizations (01:20:10) submit your story (01:20:22) disclaimer **This episode contains explicit content including descriptions of sexual assault, physical abuse, image-based abuse, pornography, drug abuse, child sexual abuse, psychiatric situations, and the loss of a child. Listener discretion is advised.** quotes “I had a boyfriend, he cheated on me…I was so devastated. I just hated men. I hated what they did to me. I hated how they made me feel. I hated who I was trying to please them.” - Heather “I ended up dating again because I love relationships. I do. I like to be in one. I like to feel special to somebody.” - Heather “We were married. And he told me that one of his fantasies was to have two girls and a guy.” - Heather “When he found out that I had this emotional relationship, I allowed him to do certain things that were very humiliating…but I felt like I deserved it because of what I did.” - Heather “At one point I prayed. I'm like, God, listen, Just make me okay with being alone and then, a month later is when I met (him).” - Heather “I found my perfect man, like in every sense of the word, this man was everything I didn't think I deserved, but knew I deserved.” - Heather “He had to tell me what kind of relationship he wanted. And he presented to me something called the hot wife lifestyle.” - Heather “Every single time that we did anything, it would just suck another piece of my soul 80 percent of our conversations only revolved around sex, only revolved around who he wanted me to sleep with.” - Heather  “We're doing drugs so much we couldn't communicate unless we were fucked up, unless we were high.” - Heather “I would succumb to whatever he wanted to do. My anxiety was through the roof. My depression was just getting worse and worse And so that's when I actively tried to commit suicide.” - Heather  topics #ToxicRelationships #LoveAndPain #SelfWorthJourney #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfDestruction #HotWifeLifestyle #RelationshipTrauma #DepressionAndAnxiety #OvercomingAddiction #FindingStrength #SuicidePrevention #RecoveryJourney #LoveAndLoss #ToxicLove #AbusiveRelationships #EmotionalPain #RecoveringFromAbuse #FindingSelfLove  #RelationshipHealing #AnxietyAndDepression #OvercomingTrauma #HopeAndHealing #InsecurityAndHealing #TurbulentRelationships #EmotionalPain #Bodybuilding #SelfWorthJourney #OvercomingAddiction music | sounds Music (CC BY 4.0): Lost Place Atmospheres (001-003) by Sascha Ende Very Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, cybercutie, TheoJT, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, Samuel Kamau, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay stay aware | follow | share (heather) National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365) Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) Text: START to 88788  https://www.thehotline.org/ https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotline https://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/ story submission information  If you would like